Discussions on other forums made me realize I needed to add one piece to my post about men being clear with their intentions. Some men are not upfront about their intentions because they are shy, anxious, or preoccupied about being rejected, and play it safe. Some men are not upfront because they think that no woman would want to just have sex, and by not saying anything they can fly under what they think is the "constant surveillance for a relationship" radar of all women. Some men who want a relationship with a woman are afraid to explicitly say so because the woman has said that she only wants something casual, and silently suffer through heartache hoping the woman will come around in time.

They say that when the going gets tough, the tough get going. But sometimes it’s hard to move… especially when you're bogged down with negative thoughts and feelings. In a previous blog I recommended everyone "maintain an attitude of gratitude in the face life events that make it next to impossible for most people to still feel grateful and optimistic about their life." This is easier said than done, and during those times it is important that you cover yourself with kindness, meditate on your hopes and desires, and go easy on yourself – at least until you see the first glimmer of strength return.

An all too common complaint I hear from men when it comes to dating is "It's so much easier for women." I might have used to sympathize, but my experience and maturity has led me to believe that this statement is bulls--t. More than anything this is used as an excuse to avoid the anxiety that comes with learning and personal growth. Yes, it is easier for a woman to get laid. But, how do you think a woman feels when constantly having to determine whether this man who is showing her so much attention, saying all of these exorbitantly flattering things to her, is being truthful or just trying to get into her pants?

If you have a tendency to depend on the outcome you want to feel good, simply put you are making others responsible for how you feel. You end up carrying water for others and resenting them when they don’t automatically return the favor. People pleasing or entertaining people with the expectation that they are obliged do the same for you will never result in happiness. Maybe for a short while, but that sort of happiness will soon evaporate into the ethers. You will end up exhausted, bitter, and will start carrying a chip on your shoulder. This is especially devastating to romantic relationships.

This is the first excerpt in my new series "Inspiring Examples of Resistance." My hope is that this will inspire people to have the confidence to say no, feel more comfortable setting personal boundaries, and inspire them to fully embrace the power of self-acceptance. This excerpt is about one woman's unique form of resistance to a more current phenomenon, cyber bullying. What makes this example of resistance so unique, in my opinion, is that it provides us an example that might seem counter-intuitive in our culture, demonstrating just how powerful non-violence can be.

Letting go of the preference for a certain outcome, especially when you're really attracted to or deeply love somebody, is one of the most difficult states to attain. How can you be in a relationship and not want it to work out, right? Why wouldn't you want to get off of Match.com and be exclusive after you FINALLY meet someone you actually click with? Giving up your preferences for the outcome you want can be one of the most freeing decisions you ever make and can take you and your relationship, or future relationship, to the healthiest possible place.  

We have become a society that seeks pleasure and avoids pain at all costs. This is a function of both social conditioning as well as basic neurobiology. Today I want to focus on social conditioning and how it can get in the way of simply being yourself.

As I stated last week, how you define success for yourself is going to directly influence how successful you feel. This feeling comes down to taking the focus off the result itself, and honing in on the actions you are taking toward the result you desire. What goals you set for yourself are essential for maintaining that focus, perseverance, and most importantly, your self-confidence. In doing this it is important to create reasonable criterion for success for whatever you are looking to improve on.