As I've been reflecting on my venture into specializing in men's issues and relationship advice for men I thought it may be helpful to write a blog post about why I felt compelled to dive into this topic. At the time I needed a shake up from what I'd been doing the last 15 years. In addition, I was responding directly to what was being asked of me by calls from both men and women alike.

It was this series of calls I began receiving a few years ago is what led me to decide to focus my marketing efforts towards men. This is how these calls went (and happened on a number of different occasions with different people):

Me: "Hello, this is Dan."

Man: "Hi, I'd like to set up an appointment to talk."

I love technology. Technology helps me keep up with my workload and be productive on a much larger scale than I'd be able to without it. Clients and colleagues ask me all the time for advice about how to stay focused and productive, especially those with ADD. The most important thing is to have the right tool for the job. Essentially a computer, or any technology for that matter, is a tool. Looking at tech as a tool can change one's relationship to it. To combine my passion for technology as well as popular demand from clients and colleagues, I am going to publish my first installment on my blog: Tools of the Trade - Streamlining Your Workflow. 

Have You Ever thought about feeling good about yourself just for the sake of feeling good? Without some sort of end goal like feeling good about yourself so you can find a relationship?

In our culture we are taught that to be successful you have to be goal oriented. Further we are advised that we have to make our goals very specific. There is definitely merit in this, but often the big picture gets lost in this version of goal setting. Do we have to have a reason to feel good about ourselves? Or to simply feel good? 

I say we don’t. Feeling good about yourself, in it’s own right, is reason enough. It gives that all important mantra “I am enough” the rubber it needs to meet the road and get you traction you’re seeking with your self-esteem. 

Why is this important? 

From: (---------------------------)
To: (---------------------------------)
Date received: (---------------------)
Subject: can you blame me for wanting you?

                                                          Who's steering this ship anyway?

This past week my interview on the Ryan Answers podcast went live. Ryan Jakovljevic is a relationship counseller and coach, a dating coach, and also does personal coaching and counselling as well. Ryan helps individuals and couples solve their relationship problems worldwide via Skype and over the phone, and also sees clients in person where he lives in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. If you're interested in working with him you can learn more here.

I was very encouraged to come across a new post last night called “What If He Cries?” by Diane A. (D.A.) Sears, United States Coordinator for International Men’s Day (coming this November 19). In her post, Diane advocates for women to make safe spaces for men to be emotionally genuine during times of grief, sorrow, and loss. She says:

Why does it seem men have a harder time being alone than women? For one thing, it might be that women socialize with each other and share more than men do. They share both the good and the bad. This may actually be the very reason that makes the experience of being alone so much more painful for men.

Men do not tend to share their pain, but rather try to share their feats and accomplishments in an an attempt to posture or create the impression of strength amongst other men. No man wants to be on the losing end of a competition.

For the past 20 years I have been helping men discover their strength, both through sharing my own personal exploration as well as professionally. This can look different for different men. For all men this happens through opening up to vulnerability. For nice guys connecting to their personal power means letting go of their people pleasing ways and being assertive.