As I've been reflecting on my venture into specializing in men's issues and relationship advice for men I thought it may be helpful to write a blog post about why I felt compelled to dive into this topic. At the time I needed a shake up from what I'd been doing the last 15 years. In addition, I was responding directly to what was being asked of me by calls from both men and women alike.

It was this series of calls I began receiving a few years ago is what led me to decide to focus my marketing efforts towards men. This is how these calls went (and happened on a number of different occasions with different people):

Me: "Hello, this is Dan."

Man: "Hi, I'd like to set up an appointment to talk."

Have You Ever thought about feeling good about yourself just for the sake of feeling good? Without some sort of end goal like feeling good about yourself so you can find a relationship?

In our culture we are taught that to be successful you have to be goal oriented. Further we are advised that we have to make our goals very specific. There is definitely merit in this, but often the big picture gets lost in this version of goal setting. Do we have to have a reason to feel good about ourselves? Or to simply feel good? 

I say we don’t. Feeling good about yourself, in it’s own right, is reason enough. It gives that all important mantra “I am enough” the rubber it needs to meet the road and get you traction you’re seeking with your self-esteem. 

Why is this important? 

From: (---------------------------)
To: (---------------------------------)
Date received: (---------------------)
Subject: can you blame me for wanting you?

                                                          Who's steering this ship anyway?

This past week my interview on the Ryan Answers podcast went live. Ryan Jakovljevic is a relationship counseller and coach, a dating coach, and also does personal coaching and counselling as well. Ryan helps individuals and couples solve their relationship problems worldwide via Skype and over the phone, and also sees clients in person where he lives in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. If you're interested in working with him you can learn more here.

For the past 20 years I have been helping men discover their strength, both through sharing my own personal exploration as well as professionally. This can look different for different men. For all men this happens through opening up to vulnerability. For nice guys connecting to their personal power means letting go of their people pleasing ways and being assertive. 

Negativity is common for those of us who have had a difficult life or even a series of recent bad experiences. Even if you aren’t predisposed to negative thinking it is difficult to resist negativity under the forces of hardship or social pressure. 

The other weekend I was out in Newport, RI with my wife celebrating my birthday. It is one of my favorite places to go, near my favorite beach to surf, and it has one of my favorite restaurants, The Red Parrot. They have the best Surf 'n Turf, this amazing lobster filled steak with garlic sauce. I can never resist it.

Anyway, as we were walking back to our bed and breakfast there were some guys sitting on a bench, obviously a little drunk. They started complimenting me that I was with a woman, "Good for you, man." It was clear that the compliment did not come from a place of feeling good about themselves, but was more self-pity. It seemed from their tone of voice they were saying "What's wrong with me that I can't get a woman to go home with me?" 

Sex in a long term relationship or marriage has the potential to be the best sex of ones life. Unfortunately rather than doing what helps keep the excitement going with their long term mates, many people give in to the monotony of everyday life and throw that potential away and then falsely attribute monotony to monogamy.